


Go Blue

by Billen



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, BAMF Pepper Potts, BAMF Tony Stark, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Natasha Romanov is the Best Bro, Nick Fury is Not Amused, Obscure Marvel References FTW, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Avengers (2012), Slow To Update, Stan Lee Cameo, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, The Author Regrets Nothing, Transfered From Movellas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 11:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14872727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Billen/pseuds/Billen
Summary: Stark Industries' new campaign "Go Blue" has ironically been getting a lot less focus on the non-harmful energy part, and a lot more attention onto the idea of an Avengers reality TV-show. Tony was never one to disappoint and it's a downright disaster.





	1. Unofficial: Pre-production

Stark's marketing team had fucked up. Or maybe they had done better than anyone hoped. All Tony knew was his new line of safe, eco-friendly energy had been getting a lot of attention. Just not because of the possibilities and amazement at the idea of a healthier enviroment.

The series had been launched along with a branding campaign called "Go Blue". The general idea was to both promote Stark Industries' products and their image by Stark showing them around Avengers Tower and talking benefits with Banner joining him for an extra pair of eyes. The other Avengers hadn't been present, but those who had been able to, joined in with a thumbs up of approval. And everyone was for the fun twist, wearing a pair of blue shoes.

The takes were a bit rough and the outtakes had been hid in the deepest, darkest corner of JARVIS' database, but you easily got the general idea, when you got over the fact that, yes, Science Bros were a thing, and yeah, apparently Hulk wasn't a green rage giant all the time, and oh, Steve was freaking hot shirtless and sweaty (what a surprise!).

And now the whole world was rooting for a reality show with their favorite heroes, including most of the board of Stark Industries and Pepper.

**> ><<**

"Not you too, babe," whined the genius. "This is a terrible idea, through and through."

Pepper glared at him over the rim of her wineglass. "Actually it's an amazing opportunity. It will promote both the Avengers and Stark Industries a lot. I talked to Nicholas. SHIELD is backing me up here. You need the good rep to continue in the business. And our business won't suffer under popularity, will it now?"

Apparently SHIELD were rooting for a reality show as well.

She sipped at her wine, while Tony spluttered in the seat across from her. "Besides, I already hired a camera crew."

"I- wait, what? No! No camera crew. If we are doing this, it will be my way. I have the nessecary drones, just give me 'til the day tomorrow and you will have an army of full-functioning mini JARVISes able for all purposes."

"You better." Pepper smiled, genuinely, and then her eyes sparkled like that, Tony couldn't help but smile back. Something he would have gagged at, before his wonderful girlfriend.

**> ><<**

Fury sighed as Tony's number flashed across his phone. Did he actually want to deal with this? "Stark."

"Patchy the Pirate." Stark's tone was sarcastically formal. "What's up? No, no, let me guess. You have been terrorising Peter Pan? Nah, not your style, it's more effectively kill target -stuff. What about some classified spy shit, which could have meant the end of society as we know it? No, don't answer, I know about that already; you still haven't upgraded your firewalls by the way. But what have you been doing? C'mon, you know this, Stark. Oh yeah! You have just been busy pitting my girlfriend against me! Really, Number 2?"

Fury gritted his teeth. He really didn't want to deal with this. "You need the positive attention, if only to keep the World Council at bay. There's a lot of powerful people that aren't happy right now, mister Stark."

"Mhmmm, not listening. But let's cut the bullshit; I'm assuming that Clint and Natasha are already onboard, and do we know anything about Popsicle and the Hammer-dude?"

The spy had an illogical urge to sigh in relief. "Yes, Romanoff and Barton are in. Rodgers have given an okay. Thor is unreachable for the moment, but considering his upbringing, he won't have any problems with it. I expect the first footage to arrive at my desk soon, mister Stark."

"Yeah, not happening. This is my project now. But don't worry, my angry friend, I will be sure to put SHIELD on the cast-list as co-creators." Beep. Fury did sigh in relief this time. This was not going as planned, but it was still going considerably well.

"Hill, get me Xavier on the private line." Not for the first time, did Fury wonder; why hadn't he just asked the X-Men for help?

**> ><<**

Bruce Banner considered himself experienced in dealing with all the shit life threw at you. The reality show wasn't even that bad an idea, so he just shrugged it off and went on with his research projects in his newly assigned, Stark-approved labs.

He was a bit jittery these days. It was nice to have a safe haven, it really was. But even though he knew he could leave, he still felt restricted. Bruce had grown used to wide open spaces in his travels. New York City just didn't provide him with the same feeling.

"Bruce!" Stark entered his labs with the same cocky flurry of limbs, he always did. "I need you to sign the contract-thingy, so I can get this show on the road and you can add the title 'reality star' to your resume."

A smile quirked on the scientist's lips, as he took the stack of papers from his friend. Scanning through it there wasn't anything really unusual - for someone who lived his life at least - and he signed on the dotted line. "I'm sure 'reality star' will be a nice contrast next to nuclear physicist and spare-time rage monster."

Stark made a grand gesture, a chuckle escaping him, even as he nearly tipped a beacon of gooey liquid off the table. He quickly abandoned his half-laugh in order to stabilise the container, spilling a bit of the chemical concoction over his hands in the process. "Uh, this stuff isn't dangerous, right?"

"Depends on what you're talking about," muttered Banner, distractedly shuffling through a stack of papers. "I have a few projects who differ greatly in need of being careful."

Stark paled a bit, and Bruce fought down a grin, trying to appear busy with his notes. "It's the green goo? I have no idea what this is. And I might have had skin contact with it. No, correction, I'm still having skin contact with it."

The billionaire made a beeline for the sink.

"Dont worry, it's nothing, Tony. That mixture couldn't hurt a fly." Bruce finally looked up and winked at the other man. "However, I just cleaned up some equipment that contained some biochemical, actually hurtful stuff, so stay away from the beacons in the sink, please. Your contract is on the table, by the way. I have something brewing, I have to go check on."

Stark snatched the contract, before turning for the door. "Allright-y then. Don't stay up too late, Brucey."

"Still not a participant in your  _How many all-nighters can I manage?_  -contest, Tony."

**> ><<**

New York didn't have the same familiarity anymore. Even Brooklyn felt unrecognisable. Steve had gotten used to change after waking up. Nothing was the same anymore and it was never going to be again. That didn't mean, it stopped hurting. In general it was easier, walking the streets of somewhere, he had never known. You couldn't compare it on an emotional level then.

SHIELD had granted him time off after The Battle of New York (people actually called it that?) and at first he had been busy seeking out everything with a touch of familiarity; Peggy, war buddies, art museums with exhibitions from the '30es.

But Peggy was old, dying and gave Steve guilty feelings. The few remaining (alive) soldiers he had fought with could only talk about lifes with PTSD, alcohol abuse and everything in between after the war ended. Steve had gotten angry initially; these people were heroes, who had fought and lost and won, and the government had given them a pat on the head and sent them to rot in the streets.

It hadn't helped either for Steve's sake of cheering up.

And the various museums had been an empty experience.

After concluding his approach on vacation a failure, he had chosen to try new directions.

It had somewhat become a roadtrip. Just taking in as much as possible. And a lot was possible, since people got around so fast today. He had been all over most of the US by now. Not really the public places. It was a rare occurence, that someone actually realised who he was under the dirty cap and worn hoodie, but he wasn't willing to take the risk. Instead he had opted to find the more obscure experiences.

It was great.

A breath of fresh air.

Still, he knew it wouldn't last. And of course it didn't. Fury was suddenly on his motel-service line, talking in a complicated matter about something called a 'reality show'? Steve had discovered the wonder of technocolor a long time ago (of course he had!), but he still wasn't familiar with anything not documentaries or quiz-shows. 

Eventually the director had gotten the point across. Steve said "Yeah, that's fine, I guess." and nothing else happened.

Until a week and a half later then Hill flashed across his computer screen, nearly giving him a heartattack and definitely getting him weird looks from the librarian. She was extra suspicious of his activities on the official PCs for the rest of the night. "I'll make it brief, Rodgers. Tony is probably already on the move." Maria's face tightened. "Stark has taken over the promotion show - project. Fury discussed this with you last week. He will be your official employer for the whole process. His contract has probably already arrived. SHIELD has approved of the conditions, so you don't have to worry."

Steve blinked and opened his mouth to answer, before realising this was a library and the woman in charge was already giving him the stinky eye. He settled for typing 'Thanks for the heads up, Hill.' and she smiled tightly before leaving him with his Google-search bar, keywords already halfway typed.

**> ><<**

Someone was in his room. On his couch. And watching some soap opera on his TV.

Steve pulled out a gun from his shin holster. Even though the shield was by far his favorised choice, there was no being too careful and he had taken to carrying the light weight, handheld gun around there the shield wouldn't be able to come.

The man on his sofa still hadn't realised he had gotten company. The Captain cleared his throat loudly and watched as the person flinched at the sound, before spinning around in panic, all wide eyes and flailing limbs. This clearly wasn't an professional. Steve relaxed just a tad, but kept the Browning trained on his intruder.

Who apparently was a very young, awkward looking guy... with blue skin?

"Please don't shoot, Captain Rodgers. It would be very bad for me. Professor would be very mad at bullet-holes and I'm not even supposed to be here." His heavily accented English seemed limited and stilted. "I-I.. I was sent by mister Stark, yes? You are friend with mister Stark, so don't shoot."

Steve lowered his gun slightly, trying to make sense of the situation. "Who are you?"

The younger man - boy, really - spluttered and the tail Steve hadn't realised he possessed, swung around agitatedly. "Ah! Forgive me, mister Rodgers! I am Kur- Eh, I am not sure I can tell. But.. But my alias be Nightcrawler. You heard of Nightcrawler, right? Part of the X-Men."

He went from sorry to nervous to proud in seconds, and Steve had a hard time understanding most of what he said because of the German accent. He had never heard of a Nightcrawler, but the X-Men were a well-known topic on the gossip-mill amongst the agents of SHIELD. The opinions were scattered, but they had proven their worth a long time ago. Still, SHIELD were nothing if not paranoid.

The gun went back into it's holster and he walked around the sofa to disconnect his television. The sounds of deepfelt crying and angry yelling was getting distracting. "I guess I can work with that. What does Tony want?"

"Mister Stark send me with papers for you. Normally I do not do jobs like this, but mister Stark said he needed them signed pronto." The X-Man pulled a slightly crumbled contract from his jacket's inner pocket. "You need to sign, so I can bring back quickly. Professor will be mad, if he knows, I help Iron Man."

Steve shuffled through them, distractedly glancing at the odd, young man before him. "Professor X, I assume?"

"Yes, he does not like students not sleeping at night."

"Well, anyway, it seems legit, here you go." Steve grabbed the pen from his sofa-table and signed the stippled line, before handing it over.

"Thank you, Captain. I have to go now." Steve went in for a quick handshake, but the guy had disappeared. He didn't even feel like being confused. Too much effort.

**> ><<**

Natasha hid a smile, as the other undercover SHIELD agent stumbled across the lobby to reach her, in an obviously fake attempt at looking uncoordinated. Clint was many things, but disguises and pretending still wasn't strong points of his.

But apparently the postal officer get-up, the askew cap and the nervous way he held himself was enough to believe he wasn't an threat. This military base was kind of pathetic to be honest.

"You are miss Thompsen, right, ma'am?" Clint's voice drawled out loudly as he reached her. Natasha nearly couldn't keep in her snort, as some of the official staff glared at him, for being so loud.

She kept walking, Clint following behind her into the base. She kept her voice stony. "Yeah, I am."

They walked further along the hallways, reaching a remote part of the building. "Good, good, I have a package for you. From...-" He made an obvious show out of peering closely at the names on the sticker. "-a Tony Spark."

This time she couldn't hold on to her snort and Clint grinned mischeviously at her in the empty hallway. She pushed them into an empty office, just as someone rounded the corner.

They waited in silence until the guard was gone, before closing the door quietly. "Hi, Nat."

Natasha wasn't a sentimental type, but she did smile softly at the other. In the sterile light of a loftlamp, his tired demeanor became very clear. Natasha had been getting regular updates about her partner, while on the current mission. She wanted to be at his side right now. Knew how much he was struggling, but couldn't refuse a mission.

"I assume the package is from the director about his pet project?"

Clint scratched his chin nervously. "Not exactly," he mumbled. "It really is from Stark. He forcefully adopted Fury's project."

Natasha ripped open the sealed plastic bag and quickly looked through the contents. "Oh." That was a surprise. "And Fury's really onboard with this?"

The other laughed out loud. "He's kind of pissed at having lost all control over our social image, but he has conceded enough to let me be Stark's personal delivery boy, hasn't he?"

She mulled over his words before turning back to the contract. "Anything I should be aware of upon signing this?"

Clint shrugged. "Don't know. I think you should expect a lot less private time, but aside from that... nah, not really anything. SHIELDs legal department has evaluated it safe. I wouldn't trust those guys not to have missed something important, though."

It was not secret, that Clint hated SHIELDs lawyers with passion. Natasha didn't have the full story, but they had definitely fucked up a lot; Clint didn't trust them with anything. Upon legal issues he had become a regular client at Nelson and Murdock, a small law firm in New York City. He had been a client there for a long time by now.

Natasha put a soothing hand on his shoulder and reached for the pen in his breastpocket, signing her name and shuffling the papers back into the packaging. "You should probably get going...-" She squinted at his nametag. "-Willie Lumpkin. Really? The Fantastic Four would have a field day with this."

"Hey! Don't you dare, Natasha. Besides it was either this or Pat Clifton. I'm sure you prefer Willie then."

She snickered. "Still, I wish, I had a picture of this. Susan would love it."

Clint grumbled at her. His humor was backfiring badly right now. He snatched the papers he came for and began packing them away in his postal employee messenger bag. "Hurry up and either get solid evidence or kill the guy. I'm bored out of my mind, not being able to go on missions. Boss has me doing paperwork. Paperwork!"

Natasha nodded and shrugged. "Shouldn't be too long by now. This place has so many loose ends and easy security breaches. It's practically child's play and I still don't get why, I were assigned it."

They flicked off the light, allowing the darkness it's right, before parting ways in the hallway, Natasha heading for her office and Clint for the main entrance.

**> ><<**

Tony had seen the mutant kid off. His hands was playing with the corner of the front page from Kurt's delivery as he went to his office. The place had been his official work-space, when he was still operating Stark Industries. His workshop had still been the place to find him, though.

The office was spacious and expensive but way too stereotypical for Tony to ever have designed. Coincidentally, he hadn't.

"JARVIS, how's the mini-you project coming along?" He sealed the documents in a new convolute and put them away.

"It's going well, sir. They should be ready to deploy by tomorrow." A couple of absent nods was the AI's answer. "And sir, may I suggest something daring? Try being human and catch up on the sleep you haven't gotten in the past fifty-three hours."

Tony blinked. "Fifty-three hours? Already?" Then the confusion molded into a scowl. "What do you mean ' _try being human_ '?"

"What are you talking about, sir? Maybe the lack of sleep is making you delusional."


	2. Episode 1

**We Are The Avengers  
Episode 1 - Introductory**

 

_Avengers Tower, New York, United States of America._

"Hi there, dear viewers. It's your very own Iron Man." Tony smiled excitedly and made a grand gesture around the quite large room. "Welcome to the newly dubbed Avengers Tower. I thought that since this is the pilot episode, I should get you used to this place. After all it's the Avengers official place, and both Bruce and I live here."

He frowned. "Or he lives here permanently and I'm here, like, ninety percent of the time." The frown faded into a smirk. "Well, moving on, let's go find Bruce. He should be around somewhere."

Trying not to complicate the living situation was kind of hard. Tony had never been good at staying in one place and Pepper didn't want her home to be her workplace, so then her and Tony spent time together, it was for the most part in some of his other, more private locations. Bruce wasn't really a fan of being trapped in a place and he'd been going stir-crazy in the beginning, but as he said; _If I don't get used to having one home, I will never be able to settle even a little_. Tony hadn't argued that his beach-house was a great location to visit as well, because the scientist stare was the stuff born of being life's bitch.

The billionare made a show out of looking under the couch. "He's pretty quiet most of the time," he explained with a wink. "But I think we can safely say he ain't here. Oh yeah, and  _here_ , is the common floor, by the way. All the Avengers - be they permanent residents or visitors - has access to this floor, to socialise or whatever. There's a kitchen and a dining room and we're in the living room with various seating arrangements and a mini-bar. And don't forget the private cinema. I'm a bit of a go big or go home guy."

Tony lifted an eyebrow at the camera, his smirk widening into a grin.

**> ><<**

"We're now on a different floor, if you hadn't already guessed by the sterile white feel-" Someone accidently bumped into Tony. There was a quick shuffle backwards, as the lady nearly fell to the ground along with her papers.

She looked at Tony Stark and then at all her documents laying messily around and blushed with embarrasment while muttering. "Oh, sorry, mr. Stark, didn't see you there."

As she bend down to pick up her research, Stark finally realised who the other was and began to help her. "Don't worry so much, Moira. But do try to watch where you're going. Charles will be mad if you were to get hurt in one of my departments... Or maybe not mad, but he would look very disappointed and God, has that man perfected the kicked puppy -look."

Moira laughed out loud. "You got that right. I think it's a required part of being the self-sacrificing character, that he is."

Tony handed over the last of her papers and waved her off with a smile. She muttered a distracted goodbye, already busy with her documents again.

"That was Moira, she's one of the best people around. Woman knows how to do her job and do it better than ninety-nine percent of my science departments. Sadly, she's not a permanent employee. But anyway, Bruce should be in his labs, so let's get going. And on a second note, did I remember to tell you, that it's Bruce Banner AKA the Hulk we're looking for?"

**> ><<**

Knocking on the non-descript door, but not bothering to wait for any kind of action, Tony barged in to Bruce's labs. The place was a bit messy and Bruce himself was looming over the sink, washing down some of his equipment then his friend burst in. He lost his grip on the glass tube in his hands, which managed to shatter all over the floor.

Tiredly drying his hands on a towel, Bruce slowed down his breathing and stared disapprovingly at first the broken mess of glass and then at Stark. "Well, that's a waste."

Being the Hulk and coincidentally on the run for most of his life, Banner's sleep schedule had always been ever-changing and practically non-existent. The years of awareness and adrenaline had made it tough to adjust to the idea of just going to bed and he hadn't exactly gotten a lot of sleep since moving in. It was becoming very visible in his face, movements and reactions.

"Nah, I'll get JARVIS to buy you a whole new set." Stark shrugged, trying to appear unconcerned, and motioned to the camera. "Brucie, say hello to our dear viewers."

The other man stared at the camera and fidgeted nervously. "Uhm, hello."

"Awww, come on, give them an introduction." Getting a glare for his troubles, the billionaire turned towards the camera himself, stage-whispering:"Don't worry, he will warm up to you eventually. Next time I'll come with a peace offering of herbal tea and a weird mix of old and modern literature, then his demeanor will loosen up."

He turned towards the door. "See you later."

Bruce muttered something not particularly nice under his breath, but raised a hand in acknowledgement.

**> ><<**

"So... That went well." Stark scratched his nape sheepishly, nearly spilling the drink he'd just poured all over himself. "Bruce is still not acclimated to his new living arrangements, so don't judge him. It will get better with time. Besides, he's a super cool dude... once you get past the terrible smell of herbal tea and potentially deadly anger issues."

He downed his glass and gestured around himself. "Anyway, the other Avengers' aren't a permanent fixation in the tower, so they're going to get the rest of the screen-time now. Except Thor. He's kind of busy being a royal prince or something AKA not available. See ya!"

**> ><<**

_Undisclosed location_

Someone tapped the screen. "Is this thing on?" Sounded from somewhere behind the hand. "Nat, does the red thing means it on? Or does it need, like, a battery change?"

A face popped into view. Shaggy, blond hair and blue eyes staring intently.

"It's Tony's, I don't think you need to worry about anything, moron." Natasha Romanoff forcibly removed her partner from the vicinity of the camera, so you got a view of both her and their settings. "Welcome to Clint's  _very_  humble abode."

The outraged squeak from the archer made her eyes roll in their sockets. For someone with a high wage like Barton's, he certainly had a way of finding terrible living conditions positively cozy. As much as he may brag, Clint's farmstead had been a downright dumb since his divorce.

As if to prove her point, the couch creaked ominously underneath them. Her partner just leaned further back into the stained cushions and pouted sourly. "You wouldn't say that, if you knew how much I orginally had to give for this place."

"What, all two grands?" Now he was definitely pouting.

Almost having forgot, Natasha turned back to the camera. "We're supposed to be introducing ourselves, stupid." She added "I'm Natasha Romanoff and this is my partner Clint Barton."

The sound of heavy paws on creaking wood reached the camera, just as the archer proclaimed:"And this is Lucky."

A huge dog ran right into the side of the couch, still managing to right itself again, and proceeded to jump on top of Clint with excited vigor, making the former Red Room spy sigh in a tired fashion.

"And Lucky knows, he's not allowed on the furniture," she told her partner with steel in her voice, making both man and dog whine at her.

"C'mon, Nat." Clint dragged out, but shoved Lucky off the sofa anyway. On the floor again, Lucky tried looking pathetic for a second, before deciding it had gotten boring and stumbling onwards, down the hall. Clint grumbled at his traitorous ways while his partner watched, amused.

He looked up, silently communicating with her, before shaking his head hestistantly.

"Eh, I guess we're SHIELD employees?" It came out like a question instead of a statement, and the other spy supplied. "He means, that while we're still employed at and work for SHIELD, our main priority is now the Avengers. Anything you want to add, Barton?"

"I'm Hawkeye not Hawkguy."

**> ><<**

_Motel, Nevada, United States of America._

Somewhere across the country, Steve sent his own mini-Jarvis a distrustful glance. How the heck was he supposed to go about every-day with a mini-drone following his every move? Anonymity had just gotten a whole lot harder.

Clearing his throat and nodding awkwardly at the camera, he tried to find some welcoming words. "Eh, hey there? I'm Steve Rodgers. You probably figured that out already..." A nervous itch made itself present and he absentmindedly scratched it, stuttering through a quick explanation of him being old and Captain America. "I'm currently catching up on- learning about modern culture. So feel free to send a suggestion or two my way."

Something creaked above him and he eyed the old and horrible-looking chandelier with suspicion. It had creaked the whole night before in a way that had kept Steve from getting peaceful rest.

"Don't worry, this ain't my permanent residence. Even I have better taste than this." He mumbled the last part. And it was true. Even though Steve had gotten heckled a lot about the five pairs of old-school suspenders and his apparently terrible dress-pants, he had found a way of mixing newer clothing with his oldie-way. Besides, Tony had mentioned, that his impressive physique more than made up for the fact, that he lacked style. Which was good? Steve wasn't too sure about anything the other Avenger said.

Steve pulled out his phone as the first tones hit him. It was Stark's design, made to help him accomodate, but the man still had fun with making his ringtone change between bad pop-songs, which Steve didn't know, each week. He had managed to grow fond of Lady Gaga, though. On a particularly bad week, with SHIELD storming his phone every other minute, he had given up at last, leaned back into his couch and let  _"Just a second, it's my favorite song, they're gonna play.."_  put him to sleep.

Checking the ID, he smiled at the camera. "I have to take this. See you later."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moira is Moira MacTaggert. We aren't going cannonically with the X-Men Cinematic Universe here, since I prefer to take her back to being a top-dollar scientist instead. She's still one of Charles Xavier's love interests.
> 
> I just can't see Bruce getting comfortable in this new enviroment quickly. This guy is used to lumpy madrasses or even the ground at times, so it made sense to me, that he'd still be overwhelmed at this point.
> 
> Okay, so Clint is divorced and Laura has the kids. Clint got Lucky and the farm, but of course hasn't been taking proper care of the farm, because he's a mess. You would be too if you didn't have your family by your side, lost one of your best friends and got mind-controlled into killing people. Also I love Lucky the Pizza Dog, so he's included.
> 
> Natasha and Clint are very domestic in their spare-time according to this story. I can't help but imagine Clint having been extra clingy after his divorce, which he took out on a select few, Coulson and Natasha being two of them. And since Coulson has been offed at this point, I thought Natasha would step up to the task in his stead, getting a bit softer than she would usually portray herself.
> 
> Steve is young. I know this. But circumstances has needed wise beyond his actual years out of the ice, which he accomodated to. So while Steve is definitely in his twenties, he's still older in mind than anyone else. It's actually something that pisses me off, to be honest. To be given that much responsibility at his age, is sad in a tragedic way. I feel the other characters forget that normal people Steve's age are getting drunk and attending college classes, while he's getting shot at and blamed for occurences out of his control.
> 
> This chapter (episode) has a different structural build compared to the other's.


	3. Episode 2

**We Are The Avengers  
Episode 2**

 

_Avengers Tower, New York, United States of America._

"So... I'm currently in the garage. Clint and Natasha should be arriving any second now." Tony looked dwarfed in the huge, open space. And tired. He dragged a hand through his face in a disbelieving manner. "They're moving into Avengers Tower AKA former Stark Tower... permanently."

There was a stretch of silence, as Stark mulled over his next words carefully. They still came out in a bitter fashion. "Someone thought it would be a great idea to burn down Clint's home. I'm- it's just really fucking unbelievable. Barton has enough issues to go through at the moment without his residence getting turned into ash." If anyone could relate to losing important (happy) places and things, it was Tony. Natasha had never had anything  _really_  her own, Bruce had always lived life on the go, Thor's everything was a long way from Earth (and also not in danger, because  _beloved royalty_ ) and Steve hadn't literally lost yet, even though nothing was  _his_  anymore. But Tony knew losing up close and personal. Barton did too, it had been clear early on; even before the Battle of New York, and now the fire-incident.

"To be honest with you all; I'm feeling a bit sick with all this."

Distantly the roar of a car made itself present. Tony perked up as an old, pick-up truck parked in an empty lot, further down the line of fancy horsepower. In comparison to the rows of Ferrarri and Corvette, the dusty thing looked even worse.

Hawkeye got out of the passenger seat, earning a raised eyebrow from the other man. "I'm pretty sure Natasha doesn't have this bad taste in cars, so do explain yourself, Bird-Brain."

Slamming the door with a horribly loud noise, Natasha smirked at her partner's petulant look. "My taste also expands to not dying and if Clint is behind the wheel, I'm probably going to die."  _That_  and Clint had been amusing Lucky, who was on the backseat for most of the journey, so the dog wouldn't feel the need of tackling the driver or something equally stupid.

Even Natasha had felt the parting of man and dog tug at her heartstrings. Her partner was way too attached to the stupid mutt. Frankly, it was dumb how hard it had been to hand him over to the local pet-hotel. But Lucky was a downright mess at all times and the two hadn't wanted to bother Tony with the dog running around and ruining his things, so they had decided on dropping him off at a local reservoire until further arrangements could be made. Even though he agreed, Clint had obviously been affected by the whole ordeal.

There was a disbelieving cough. "Okay." Tony dragged out the vocals. "Anyway, welcome to Avengers Tower. JARVIS already prepared your personal apartments for you. Legolas, you're getting the place next to Bruce's and spy-queen is getting right across the hall. All personal spaces (except mine) are on floor fifty-four. I suggest you remember that. If not, JARVIS are available on all floors for help, so no harm done."

While Tony was babbling on about the accomodations there had been taken to ensure that personal space was, well;  _personal_  and other security features around the place, they had moved into an elevator, which seemingly knew where it was going by default, as there was a distinct lack of buttons.

"And here we are; floor fifty-four." Stark grinned excitedly at them. He was trying not to let circustances overthrow good mood and clearly succeeding, as Clint smiled brightly, already moving to peek around him and Natasha lifted the corners of her mouth from the frown, which had found it's way onto her face.

Clint squeaked excitedly as he realised his door was purple, quickly darting from the elevator to take a closer look at the identifying sign which read  _Clinton Francis Barton_  in crisp letters.

"Is this for real?" He stage-whispered to Romanoff who had moved forward as well, busy appraising her own nameplate on the oppositioning door, before adressing Tony with a nod of approval.

The archer turned to the billionaire with pleading eyes. "Will you please change the name to Clint Barton though? I love it and stuff, but no-one is allowed to go Clinton Francis on my ass. Steve would be all over the formality and you know it."

There was a moment of mock-contemplation, before Stark turned his eyes heavenwards. "You got that, JARVIS?"

"Of course, Sir."

"I guess we can," he decided. "Now we're at it; anything you need, Nats?"

Clint sniggered, as she stared blankly in Tony's general direction. "To never hear you say any personal variation of my name again."

Tony squeaked. There was no other word for it. "Uh, JARVIS is available and I'm not, because.. Because Bruce - you guys rememeber Brucie, right? Well, of course you do; you're the government-sanctioned spies. But Bruce needs help and I have to go. Bye."

Natasha watched him high-tail it out of there with an amused snort. Her partner smiled softly at her; she was looking a bit more mortal than normal. She didn't bother composing herself, though. "I wanted adjoining apartments," she whispered.

"Eh, it's not too shabby. Have you seen my front-door?" Silence fell upon them; Clint smiling excitedly at the door and Natasha observing him. He looked genuinely happy and it made her stomach churn. How long could they  _actually_  stay here? "Besides, JARVIS will probably help me with cleaning, right?" The AI had no time to answer. "Which means you won't be able to call my place a dump again."

An unintended low-blow, but still a low-blow. Her stomach tried to settle and she glared fiercely at her partner. "Does Laura know?"

Shoulders slumping, Clint opened his door and beckoned her inside. The excitement had disappeared quickly upon the reminder. "Laura is aware. The kids met Quill at a market. The crazy, old man gave them their condolences. Next thing I know, she's yelling at me through the speaker."

Quill. Grandfather Quill owned a farm close to Clint's own. She had only met him once or twice, but had heard of him through multiple different sources. Around the locals, he was known foremost for his dead daughter and presumedly dead grandson. Secondly for his psychotic delusions about aforementioned grandson being abducted by aliens. As it was, the reactions of those around him ranged between sympathetic and disgust. Until the alien invasion in New York, that was. Actually, Natasha had thought either the CIA or FBI would have snatched him up, to be locked away forever by this time. Good thing she was wrong, but something to ponder on for another time.

She settled for silence, her partner agreeing with the tired look in his eyes.

**> ><<**

Bruce had yet to see head nor tail of the spies a week later. Which was a feat in itself, considering he lived right next to them. Or maybe not, considering his way of staying cooped up in his lap for eternity and a half (and don't you need to eat,  _Brucie-bear_?). Tony's words, not his. It wasn't a surprise either; they were the most elusive of his teammates and he hadn't seen it in the cards, for them to just welcome the rest of the Avengers into their lives, like it was no big deal.

So imagine his surprise, then he turned around to grab another vial of acid and instead found Natasha perched on top of his working table, seemingly at ease with all the unknown substances surrounding her. She jiggled the required vial in her left hand. On the table next to her was a sandwich on a plate. "Time to eat, doc."

"If this is another scheme of Tony's, then..." Carefully putting down his project, he grabbed the chicken-bacon sandwich, not even bothering with washing his hands - perks of being the Hulk. "Just kick him in the nuts another time."

She smirked. "And if it isn't?"

If Bruce hadn't been taught and valued good manners, he would have stared dumfoundedly. He nearly choked on a piece of salad instead. "Eh, you can still kick him where the sun doesn't shine."

Silence settled over the two, as Bruce wolfed his meal down and Natasha glanced subtly around his lab with something akin to curiosity. The place wasn't exactly military neatness, but Bruce thought it to be within health restrictions still. Besides, who would disagree with him; he had Tony Stark on speed-dial.

"Thanks for the food. Are you and agent Barton doing well?" He didn't say  _better_ , but they could both feel it tagging along.

There was a moment of contemplation. Natasha suddenly, but gracefully, jumped off his table, ignoring his startled flinch at the movement. "I would like to think so. Nice place you've got here, I will be back another time." And she was out the door.

"I'm not even going to try and interpret that," mumbled the physicist and turned back to his work.

**> ><<**

New York was never peaceful. It was buzzing, screaming and dragging you through everything at once in a way only a culturally leading city could. And the weird thing was; Steve wanted to be here. He wanted to stay in this traffic-hell - this busy place.

SHIELD wanted him to be everywhere at once, and Steve had thought, that he wanted that as well, but as he stared at Stark's hideous building (even with damage repairs it looked  _ugly_ ) across the street, he felt relief dig itself deep into his bones. His shoulders slumped and he took a moment to enjoy the blinding sun, before the streetlight turned green.

While he was initially supposed to be in New York for some film premiere, which SHIELD had a personal interest in him appearing at, he suddenly felt like staying. Maybe he should look for a place to live afterwards? After everything was done. Would it ever really be done?

"Welcome back, Mr. Rodgers." JARVIS greeted him in the elevator. It took off smoothly. "Sir is currently in a board meeting and couldn't come to greet you. There has been a place prepared for you while you're here, and I've been appointed to make sure you're able to find it."

Though blushing a bit, aware that he would have no chance of ever finding the place without help, Steve smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

The doors slid open smoothly and Steve took it as his cue to get off. He could easily identify the frontdoors by the names mounted onto them. Obviously Stark thougt the soldier weren't able to read (because honestly, not even  _Stark_  could have such a bad humor, right?), because his own door had been painted with an obnoxious American flag design.

Steve heaved a relieved sigh, upon discovering his apartment was less tacky. Very spare and very clean-cut, but not all together bad. Steve would go as far as calling it nice, once you got over the new and shiny appearance everything had.

Surprisingly, the couch was comfortable once you got over the polished leather feel, and Steve managed to doze of quickly.

"Mr. Rodgers, Sir sends his regards and requires your presence. Because of your arrival, he thought it would be fitting to have the present Avengers eat together and catch up for the evening. Dinner should be ready in a couple of minutes." JARVIS (or really, Tony Stark) seemed to have other plans.

Aroused from his near sleep and maybe a tiny bit drowsy, the captain nodded and yawned. "I will be there in five."

**> ><<**

Clint Barton took another swig of his beer, enjoying the rich taste. If living with Tony meant quality poison, he might just get used to it. Natasha inconspiciously sniffed her own glass of wine, before downing it in a not-very-lady-like manner.

"Hey, American Film Critic! You have arrived." The man in question seemed to be caught somewhere between annoyed and happy, taking a seat on the lone chair in the sofa-arrangements. "You've got to tell these idiots, that you don't eat sushi on a tuesday. Sushi isn't meant for such ordinary weekdays."

Fidgeting slightly, as the assassins turned towards him, Steve smiled politely at Tony. "I haven't tried sushi yet, so I wouldn't be able to tell. Sorry."

There was a loud sound as Clint dropped his beer. "Aww, Steve, no."

Rolling her eyes at Barton's dramatics, Natasha took pity on her startled teammate. "Don't worry, Captain; we're getting sushi today. We have to pop that sushi-cherry of yours."

Steve went bright red.

"Is everyone agreed then?" Asked Tony. "Okay, great. JARVIS, go overboard."

"Already on it, sir."

Clint cheered silently, dramatically pumping his fist in the air, while Romanoff tried to mask a pleased grin. Steve gulped, suddenly a bit uncertain about the credibility of the whole ordeal. "Um, is Doctor Banner not joining us?"

Reaching for the wine bottle - ready for another glass, Natasha turned slightly towards Stark. "While we're at it, I've been meaning to ask, Stark; where's Pepper? I was under the impression of her being here more than you, to be honest."

Shifting to get comfortable, Tony shrugged at the questions coming his way.

"Brucie is a bit occupied at the moment with some pet-project of his - I don't think he's in the mood for sushi anyway." He fiddled with his phone, not really tuning it on, just moving it every which way in a nervous habit. "And Pepper, for your information, is currently in Malibu. Relaxing. She needed a vacation after the whole _aliens nearly killed my boyfriend thingie_."

"... That's actually rather sweet of you."

The American icon hadn't meant to sound so surprised, but Tony waved it off, turning his attention onto his mobile. "I'm probably the biggest romantic in the room aside from maybe you, Capty."

"Nah, don't speak too soon. Natasha is actually a romantic. She will wax depressing poetry for her love interests. Like that time with agent Kristen. What was it you said again?" Clint nudged his partner in the ribs and Natasha honest to god blushed. " _There's a lot of things wrong with this world, but you're one of the better_ , right?"

Her glare would have made a lesser man run for his life.

"Woah, Kristen? But- she's a..." Steve twitched nervously, when the Black Widow's glare zeroed in on him: "-She."

Tony looked up from his phone. "Steve, homosexuality is a widely accepted part of modern day society."

Steve flushed embarrasedly - he seemed to be blushing a lot lately. "Oh! It wasn't meant like that! She's a very sweet girl and- and totally badass, you would be a good match. I just... didn't realise you were into girls. I thought you and Clint were-"

Clint cut him off with a horrified expression. "Okay, yucks, nothing of a romantic or sexual nature is happening between Natasha and I, nor has it ever happened. I mean, first of all, just no, that would be like banging a sister. Second of all, Laura and I were happily married for most of the time I have known Nat!"

"Hold on for a second; you had a wife?" Tony stared incredously at the archer.

Natasha snorted from besides Clint. "A dog, two kids  _and_  a wife, yes."

"I attest to that," muttered Clint, maybe a little downtrodden. "I still have two kids - just not in my living situation... and Lucky is very much still in my custody, thank you very much."

He moodily pushed back into the couch.

Tony bunched his eyebrows in befuddlement. "Okay, so Legolas is actually your average American joe, if you cut away the secret agent slash assasin slash superhero slash spy slash best marksman in the world -thing. Who knew? Now, back to redhead's love life."

"It's kind of dead."

"What about this Kristen?" Tony leaned forward in his seat. "Not interested? Or did you lose interest?"

Clint winced.

"She's kind of dead." Natasha's words were bitter and her partner squeezed her shoulder in silent comfort, before she left without another word. Tense body language warning anyone with half a brain off.

"Good going, asshole."

"Hey! How would I know!"

Steve wringed his hands nervously. "When did Kristen die? I haven't heard a word of it."

He looked at the archer for answers. The SHIELD asset shrugged, trying to appear uncaring, but failing miserably. "Not sure, to be honest. It was either in the initial attack on the Helicarrier or somewhere under the Chitauri invasion in New York. There's been a lot of chaos in the aftermath and with all the needed actions, SHIELD just don't have the time to make extensive files on all the dead agents who fell victim to the incidents. But I better go check on Nat, damage control and all that - save some sushi for us, will you."

Clint made a beeline for the elevator. Steve fell silent, mulling over the other's words. Tony shoved his phone in his pocket and left the room, as well. JARVIS apologetically told Steve of the untimely arrival of their dinner.

**> ><<**

_The MET, New York, United States of America._

The Metropolitian Museum of Art was hosting the notorious premiere of the movie  _Tales of Suspence_  by the even more notorious Martin Lieber. The movie itself featured 59 small slice-of-life featurettes from a sci-fi world, all (of course) connected in various ways.

For the occasion their Grace Rainey Rogers Auditorium had been shined up and invites had gone out to all the right people. Actors, film-critics and local celebrities apparently included Steve Rodgers. Fury had sighed at his initial befuddlement and said something along the lines of "important promotional content" and "you better not have taken any tips from fucking Stark!".

Martin Lieber had greeted him with an enthuasiastic and strong handshake for such an old man. "We're glad to have you, 'Merica. You are the resident alien expert for tonight, you know."

He winked, before letting himself be dragged away to talk with someone else. "Gotta go, Susie just arrived."

The Captain hadn't thought much of the movie. The special effects were amazing, no doubt, and the acting had been above and beyond, but he had seen enough  _alien_  to satisfy him. Steve didn't need to see a whole theoretical extraterrestrial concept movie, the real deal was already too much. It was a bitter pill to swallow; being world-weary.

"Well, you seem to be very deep in thought, mr. America." The lady next to him smiled politely as the end-credits rolled. "Did you not like the movie?"

Smiling back, he went for the more humoristic approach. "I think it's just my xenophobia showing, ma'am. Aliens aren't really _my thing_  after all."

Suddenly looking a bit strained, she mumbled. "I guess it wouldn't be, after the whole invasion."

Trying to perk up (he wasn't going to allow his grey mood to overshadow her afternoon), he asked if she knew they way to the Cantor Roof Garden.

"Of course, dearie. Follow along, we'll take the elevator, these heels aren't meant for five floors worth of stairs. I'm Leslie by the way, Leslie Dean. You probably don't watch a lot of TV, but I'm a main character of the soap opera  _General Hospital_." She was right, the name didn't ring a bell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick Notes:
> 
> To clarify, the Avengers reality show doesn't exactly build on the normal reality show composition. The footage for normal episodes will be not unlike an edited version of a 24/7 surveillance - not meant to interact with the viewer. The first episode was a one-off, because of it's introductory origins.
> 
> Clinton Francis Barton is a terrible driver. He's a pilot, not a chaffeur. Besides; I just can't think of him as a proper, licensed driver. Natasha would be, though. She's always doing a beautiful job of fitting in on undercover missions; which has to include the patience of becoming a Sunday driver.
> 
> The spies already felt like they were intruding; they had no way of paying Tony back for his generosity and felt obligated to not be a bigger burden than they already were. Especially Natasha is not used to anything being free and I believe the whole concept of Stark being generous with no conditions applying would freak her out more than a little.
> 
> So... Grandfather Quill. Yes, I just did that.
> 
> I made a point out of Bruce not washing his hands before eating, even after having just played around with assumingly very dangerous chemicals, calling it a perk of Hulk. This is based on the concept, that gamma radiation would kill off nearly any bacteria or chemical which was threatening to Banner's health. 
> 
> And I've always liked Bruce Banner because basic survival insticts. And Natasha and he had some great dynamics in the MCU. I'm not sure about the romantic undertones, but we will see.
> 
> Also, fun fact, sushi first came to America around the 1950es or later, and therefore Steve Rodgers haven't actually tried it yet. Steve is in my story clinging on to the last shreds of how things used to be, which means he wouldn't deliberately seek out new experiences (yet).
> 
> Kudos to those of you, who got the "aww, -----, no"-detail. Matt Fraction Hawkeye is a personal favorite of mine.
> 
> So Kristen is a direct reference to Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I think it adds to the conversation from the movie, making Kristen one of Natasha's love interests instead. Steve is probably happy, he said no thanks now.
> 
> Steve is not exactly homophobic (even with the whole "early twentieth century Catholism" thing going on, he still hates inequalities and believes strongly in personal freedom), but he's used to certain stereotypes for people with a differing sexuality, because early twentieth century, duh.
> 
> Natasha Romanoff is tough stuff and has a hard relationship with love, so if she's romantically involved, or have a romantic connection, with someone (however little she might admit it), I don't think gender will throw her off.
> 
> The MET is a real museum in New York. I've never visited it, only seen pictures, and therefore the descriptions are vague.
> 
> Stan Lee used to be named Stanley Martin Lieber. If you hadn't guessed it, this is my Stan Lee -cameo.
> 
> The name Susie is of course a reference to Susan Storm of The Fantastic Four. You can't go Stan Lee, without going Fantastic Four. Also, Susan Storm is an actress, so it was a perfect opportunity.
> 
> Tales of Suspence was a comic book series, which gradually turned from sci-fi suspence stories, to featuring superheroes, most commonly Iron Man. In issue 59, Captain America became a permanent fixture alongside Iron Man.
> 
> The lady, Leslie Dean, is better known as an occult member (The Pride), a criminal alien (she's an exiled convict), and as the mother of Karolina Dean from the Runaways. Leslie is of the race Majesdanian and hides her heritage to fit in on Earth, where she and her husband (Frank Dean, also Majesdanian) are Hollywood actors. In other words; I like the irony of Steve going "blablabla... I'm xenophobic... blabla..." to an actual extraterrestrial.
> 
> Also, xenophobia definitely aren't a good thing in the Marvel world, who houses (decidedely good) big time aliens like Guardians of the Galaxy, Nova Corps and even the Inhumans.
> 
> The Runaways won't make an appearance.

**Author's Note:**

> This is set somewhere after the first Avengers movie.
> 
> It's an AU (duh!), but following a lot of headcanon, not delving into a completely different universe.
> 
> The headcanon in this work is going to be really messed up. Most of it will lean towards MCU, but there'll still be notable differences. I have chosen to take a lot of liberties for the sake of freedom and creativity.
> 
> I think Thor's upbringing as a prince in Asgard will make him very comfortable in the face of publicity and therefore he probably won't have a problem with starring on a TV show.
> 
> You can't tell me Fury wouldn't get advice from Charles Xavier if he had the chance.
> 
> Bruce Banner obviously moved in permanently with Stark in Avengers Tower.
> 
> I have absolutely no idea, then it comes to chemistry and anything even remotely science-y in general, so please don't take notice of the technical aspects.
> 
> Steve likes quiz-shows because they are a good learning experience and entertaining. It's a fun way of getting a bit more acclimated to the 21st century.
> 
> Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) has made a cameo. I like they guy and his version in the X-Men movies are way too cute. Tony is a massive manipulator then he wants to be, so of course he will be able to impress Kurt and use it to his own advantage. Not necessarily bad, but, you know, it's Stark.
> 
> Willie Lumpkin is the name of a postal worker that usually cooperates a lot with Fantastic Four, if you didn't know.
> 
> Thor isn't introduced right away, because he's off-world and while I do have most of Norse Mythology down to the tee, I don't have a solid grip on Marvel's version of the mythology. Aside from that, I'm not sure what the correct version of most of the names would be, considering I only know them in Danish. I think he will make his first appearance around chapter four.
> 
> Deadpool and Daredevil won't be introduced right away either (most of you probably discovered my little reference in this chapter, though). This is because of the plotline, but they are main characters as well and will get a lot of attention later on.


End file.
